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Growing Old Is Not So Great

August 15, 2013 Leave a comment

You know you’re getting old when you spend less time thinking about sex and more time thinking about carbs.

Oooooh… Tiramisu.

I was at the supermarket with my wife when she slapped me on the head. “Are you looking at that girl?!” she asked, pointing to an attractive PYT standing in the dessert section.

“No Babe, I was not staring at her. I was ogling the banana cream pie.”

“Oh.”

And marital bliss resumed.

I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but all of a sudden I turned old.  I went from looking in the mirror and thinking, Damn, I look good! to Damn, I look goowhere the heck did all these wrinkles come from!?!

Looking back, I now see the signs of aging.  I started putting on the pounds. Reader’s Digest large print edition suddenly made sense.  I began talking less/muttering more.  When channel surfing, I’d linger on Lawrence Welk reruns. I started celebrating good news by taking a nap instead of hitting Happy Hour: “Honey! I got the raise! Isn’t that great? I’m gonna go lie down for a bit.”

Subtle and slightly depressing signs.

Nonetheless, I’ve decided that it’s ok– a part of life. While I may not embrace aging, I’ll work with it. See where it takes me.

In the meantime, I’ve never ever considered a ménage-a-trois. But if it involves me, my wife, and a dessert, I’m totally there.

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